Its pretty difficult not to fall into this conversation that is happening online right now and offer up my ‘two cents’ or 20 mins of action ( gag – sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little there) to blast this shite right into the outhouse labeled ‘Rape Culture TRUTH’ that it needs to be in.
Keep in mind here, for those of you who need trigger announcements, I’m not going to sugar coat my words, eliminate the truth and gloss over the reality here. I’m going to call it what it is. For Rape Culture is a disease of denial. Deal with it.
I have two daughters, and I have raised them to think for themselves, act for themselves and make wise decisions for themselves. They know to be kind, compassionate, understanding, respectful – with themselves FIRST and then with others as a natural byproduct of caring for themselves. I’m proud of the Women they are becoming – I feel they are positive members of the community and contributing in wonderful ways. It’s not that hard to do folks. I just takes some parenting. And they’ve never raped anyone. duh…Is there any reason we can’t be teaching our sons this? Can someone explain this to me?
Now, this PARENT here – If I ever heard some boy’s father say these words to me after his son was done RAPING one of my daughters, I would probably be taking that poor forlorn steak of his and ramming it right up his ass – as far as I could get it, then I would rip off his shirt and squeeze the crap out of his nipples, and then I would poke my fingers around his balls and probably squeeze them, perhaps rip them right off because I would be vindicated in that wouldn’t I?
Did those images disturb you? Good. They SHOULD.
Ironically, it echos the things that were done to the lady who was assaulted by this rapist, Read her statement here and be prepared – and I say ironic, because in her case, it’s really not that important – it was only 20 mins – I can bet on my life that if I did those things above to that Father for 20 mins like I said I would, he’d have a much better idea of reality and what he’s really talking about here. He’d be far more inclined to see the TRUTH then, wouldn’t he? Right now, the victim is just an inconvenience to him and his ideals and vision for his Son. As parents we all know we can’t control our kids – but when they do something stupid, or down right horrible and even RAPE a woman – we had damn well better be GOOD parent and not teach our kids that it is OK to RAPE because we can’t deal with the truth of it.
But alas, I probably wouldn’t do that to the man. Simply because that is not the kind of person I am. EVEN if some self entitled asshole decided he has the right to violate one of my daughters, I would still have to self control and composure to not fall into that same level of idiocracy and sociopathic behaviour that got us there in the first place. I would rise above it. And that is what I taught my daughters to do as well. It’s not that hard to do. It’s called being healthy.
Besides, I would probably be charged with assault and put in prison.
Right – I would be CHARGED and put in prison. No way around that. Just because I’ve been a model citizen so far, and brought up two amazing kids, I’d STILL be put in prison. So what is the difference?
Here is the crux of it; An action is an action – it deserves it’s consequence. RAPE CULTURE is a disease that seems to wash over society and mind warp them into thinking – oh, it was only 20 mins – so it’s not really that important – not important enough to be worthy of affecting the next 20 years of my life.
GAG – again. I can’t help it every time I hear that whining in my head.
I don’t give a shit if that boy ignores the whole fridge, the pantry and turns his nose up at donuts – are we seriously talking about food here while a woman is having to face the rest of her life with the SHAME of being a victim, and now the SHAME of protecting herself?! SERIOUSLY?
This is what it is to me; A Culture is a way of thinking, and shame is at the root of it everywhere I look. Women’s Shame. As I read the victim’s letter, I couldn’t help but tell myself the truth that I doubt I would really have have had the strength to have to spend a year of my life, and then a trial convincing the world that a WRONG was done to me when it was so evilly apparent that it was done. Why would I be doing the work? The SHAME involved from the moment she was awake and aware and through to the trial was enough to make me feel sick for days – no steaks were eaten here either, and I’m not even the victim.
But wait – yes I am. Because I am a Woman. I feel this, deeply, because it could happen to my daughters, it could even happen to me.
I feel shame and I’m not even directly involved. I feel less important than a goddamn steak, and I’m not even involved. I watch our legal system and a lawyer try to shame a woman who was unconscious into agreeing that it was her fault, and it was consensual. I feel violated, in the worst of ways. My sacredness as a female, and my daughter’s right to safety is just non existent. And this is my culture. This is where I live.
This is RAPE CULTURE.
As a single mom, if I am able to teach my daughters to be mature, responsible women, we should be able to teach our boys to be mature responsible men. End of Story. But – a double standard exists here, and it is called RAPE CULTURE.
Now, do you think this should be changed or are you happy perpetuating it? What concerns me the most is this ‘weak sentence’ of 6 months, which will be reduced to 3 months emboldens those with ‘White MALE Privilege’ or those with athletic careers. If we allow this to happen, YOUR daughters may be next – There is a lot of damage that can be done in 20 mins. Let’s demand responsibility of ourselves by teaching our sons, and not accepting this blatant disregard for Women.
Peace is NOT out today – Rape Culture needs to be out. Are you with me? #TeachYourSonsRespect