That ever elusive word that changes meanings to whomever is speaking it. What does success mean to you?
The definition of ‘Success’ is such: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. And usually it means the opposite of FAILURE.
An aim or purpose can be different for every person. What determines success for each individual is the accomplishments of that aim or purpose.
Once you have defined what success means to you, then what? I truly believe that if you have taken the steps to define what success means to you, doing just ONE thing will support you in achieving that success – guaranteed!
What is this ‘One Thing?’
What? Did you read that right? Yes you did. Dancing with failure is the fastest path to success.[tweetthis]’Dancing with Failure is the fastest path to Success – enjoy it’ [/tweetthis]
It seems counter intuitive, it feels wrong – to a perfectionist it is downright blasphemy. Yet, human beings are wired to learn the most from their failures. In fact, it has been Scientifically proven, and to further that, Scientists are always failing in order to find the answers they seek.
Entrepreneurs are a group that are constantly failing, and if you are a single parent, failure is no stranger to you either. Here are some hard facts about Entrepreneurs their business start ups:
25 percent fail in the first year.
36 percent have failed after the second year.
44 percent have failed after the third year.
Does this surprise you? For many this knowledge can be both shocking and somewhat comforting at the same time. We are taught not to have expectations for they will be shattered and we will be sad. But, if you were bold and brave enough to become an Entrepreneur in the first place, you will have the gumption to ‘get over it’ and move on. And quite frankly, if you pick up each shattered piece of those shattered expectations and examine them carefully, there will be secrets in there that you would have otherwise missed if you had just spent all of your time crying over them.
To grow and learn is to be alive. Embrace your failures because ‘Failures Lead To The Answers.’ [tweetthis]’Embrace your Failures, because Failures lead to the answers you seek'[/tweetthis]
This applies to EVERY other area of your life. The parts you fail at more are the ones that you are learning the most from. See those failures as the positive things they are – when you fail you are ‘leveling up’ so to speak and if you can learn to accept the situation and look at it objectively, you will indeed graduate to your next ‘life level’.
The next time someone tells you that to avoid being disappointed you should just not have expectations – don’t listen. Have expectations, lots of them. Big ones, small ones and some in between. Keep them great, keep them passionate. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, but just hang on. You might get banged up a bit, and sometimes even more than a bit. You might even hit a bump so hard you fall right off your ride. But you will grow and if you aren’t growing, you aren’t really living.
Here are 6 steps on how to accept failure, learn from it and keep living:
Feel the Situation – Something has happened, and its upsetting. Allow these feelings to surface and feel them. Denying or pushing them down will only serve to keep you far away from acceptance. As feeling creatures we need to feel, express and then move on. So, if you are MAD, feel it. SAD, feel it and cry. Once those feelings have been expressed and cleansed from your system you will have accomplished step one and will be ready to move on to step two.
Accept the Situation – Understand and know that many things are not under your control. The only thing you CAN really control is your reaction to what happens around you. Life, and the lessons we learn is a long process, not a sprint to the finish. Feel your pain, then accept the loss and then move on to step three.
You are not alone – Working through these ‘life lessons’ can be difficult, yet never impossible. Surround yourself with like minded individuals who understand the process. Find a mentor who has been where you are before, and can offer a perspective and understanding of the situation that you may have not even considered – YET. Reach out, ask for help within your community.
Lighten up and ‘Let Go’ – Whatever you have been doing is not working. Ok, so what. Lighten up, let it go and open up your mind to accept new and different approaches. This may require you to step back, take some time away and process. You will be hit with inspiration when you least expect it, but you must be open to receive it. So, let it go and open the space up within for the next step.
Be a Realist – There is a great saying that goes ” It took me 10 years to become an overnight success” – let that practicality sink in. Sometimes it can look like everyone else is succeeding but you. It’s not true, it’s never true. Success takes work and commitment.
Learn – This is the most important and final step. Learn, learn, learn. Learn everything you can about what went wrong. Analyze it, bring it under the microscope, ask for feedback and then be open to what you find. Once you reach this state you are ready to get moving on and eventually fail again.
THIS is process at it’s best. Change the way you view failure once and for all and you will Succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Dance with Failure, make it your lover and your friend and change your life forever.
Are you struggling with some failures and regrets in your life? Have you learned how to accept them and learn from them? Or are you still trying to make peace with them? Share your stories with me in the comment section below.